Why are we so afraid? I think about that sometimes.
Starvation, homelessness, physical violence...some things are right to be feared. Or at least unpreferred. There is a basic level of security that I think we all wish for to some degree.
But I mean, for many people in the modern, developed world (if you're reading this at all that's probably you) most of the risks we deliberate taking don't boil down to a choice between homelessness and some marginally better outcome.
And I recognize that for many people, that may not be true.
But for myself I can say...what would it take for the entirety of my friends and family to want absolutely nothing to do with me, to the point of being willing to let me die alone in the cold, rather than offer up a couch for a few days while I sort things out?
That's pretty dire straits.
My point isn't that such an outcome would be impossible. But that I would have to make a long series of seriously terrible decisions in order to make it even likely.
And I reckon that for many people, something similar must hold true.
So why does taking a chance at building the life we dream of living feel so risky at times to so many people? I mean that taking a chance on yourself is probably not even remotely a conversation involving 100% social isolation and actual death.
Not even close.
But when faced with the smallest opportunity to step out into our new lives...we won't risk it.
We won't make that first post. We won't introduce ourselves as an artist. We won't admit to our friends that we do have dreams.
And I understand that not all hardships are physical. No one wants to be made fun of. Everyone wants to be liked by someone. But I feel that sometimes these fears are not held in balance alongside all the other things we might also be afraid of, such as living a meaningless life.
In regard to taking a chance on ourselves, most of our fears essentially boil down to being afraid of failing in public. And there is some validity here. I don't think we should do away with this fear entirely, pretending for even a moment that we could.
But when taken up into a larger context, this fear must naturally yield to the deeper, darker waters we are faced with.
Failing in front of strangers is nothing compared to failing in front of the mirror.
Disappointing your parents is nothing compared to disappointing yourself when you're the same age as they are now and still have nothing to show for the life you said you wanted.
I don't want to get to the end of life and have let down maybe the only person I have left that was there since the beginning: and that's me.
I don't think that fear is something we need to overcome, in this brute-force kind of way.
I think much of life is simply in learning to be afraid of the right things. And what happens next is natural.